Dear friends and family; BrewDog has done it again by making THE STRONGEST BEER IN THE WORLD!!!!... but I don't give a shit about that... I want one of those koozies! CHECK THOSE THINGS OUT!
It was announced today that BrewDog has one upped GOD by not only brewing the strongest beer in the world (55%ABV), but they've also contracted MOTHER NATURE to provide their bottles with insulation! There was a 1 case (12 12oz. bottles) yield of the beer they call "The End of History", name derived from the work of famous philosopher Francis Fukoyama. In an attempt to shock and awe the world, they made the standard packaging for one bottle the preserved carcass of scottish roadkill (namely squirrels and stoats). BrewDog is, as a brewery to some, a one trick pony. They've been accused of brewing sub par beer, all the while selling their product by simply marketing themselves in a loud and onerous fashion.
Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society: The Tale of Some Decent/Douchey Marketing
We hate bad beer! from BrewDog on Vimeo.
BrewDog has been caught up in an arms race to hold the title for brewers of the strongest beer in the world for the past year or so... starting with "Tactical Nuclear Penguin", followed by "Sink The Bismark" and finally (hopefully) topping out with "The End of History". Of course, it's all fine and good to want to make your mark on the world. I haven't had one of these beers and am personally abstaining from doing so... not only because I have a feeling they're all pretty terrible (The End of History is stronger than your standard Vodka at 110 proof), but they're also INSANELY expensive. Tactical Nuclear Penguin was somewhere around $70 for a 12oz. bottle... Sink The Bismark clocks in at the same... however, you could buy nearly a case of either for the same price of 1 bottle of "TEoH" (I love acronyms) which came in at $762 PER BOTTLE! Notice I say they "came" in at that price as "TEoH" was sold out within just a few hours of being announced.
But, as I stated earlier... I don't give a dick about what's inside of those bottles, but rather what's on the outside! Cute ass little Stoats and Squirrels... looking all stately. Do you SEE the ones all dressed up for a formal affair!? what I wouldn't give to fashion a little corn cob pipe for that squirrel's right... paw...(?) Maybe some baby functioning bagpipes for the kilted Stoat? gaaahhh...
so now, what will we see those koozies popping up on ebay for in a month or 2? 200 dollars? 300 dollars? Whatever the cost, I'm sure you will all see how thoughtful a gift this will make for me when my half birthday rolls around... which is actually May 30th, so get on it!
My final hope is that this new style of packaging becomes the NEW arms race... hopefully eventually leading to one of these inside of one of these... or maybe one of these inside of one of these!!! oh the possibilities are endless!
As an aside, I know how loyal you all are as readers and I know that I've been slacking off in my writing for some time now. I wanted to take a moment to let you know that I have been inspired to pick this back up by one of my very goodest friends Jenny. Jenny is an aspiring chef and has begun her very own blog entitled Will Work For Cake. She's chronicling her times through culinary school, publishing some recipes, techniques and the occasional haiku. PLEASE check out her blog and send her some cake as that's clearly her end goal... unsolicited cake.
